Dancing About Architecture

On a general interest message board I used to frequent we used to come up with fake band names.  When we were feeling particularly creative we'd also come up with what kind of music that band would play, what kind of people would be in such a band and if we were feeling really really creative we'd come up with stage names for the members of our fictitious band.  This is just a chance to have fun, be witty, be clever, be whatever... just don't take it too seriously.  Life is far too short for that!

To get the ball rolling here are some of the ones I came up with on the old board that I still remember:

Pink Freud - A Pink Floyd tribute band put together by (pardon my political incorrectness) Gay Asian Psychiatrists

Severe Bowel Movement - Lead vocals: Scott Ishew, Guitar - Matt A. Musial, Drums - K.O. Pektate, Bass - Xaviar Lax, Keyboards - B. Day (I'm thinking this would be a garage band formed by guys who met at the Waste Management Facility they all happened to work at)

Neil Ander-Thaal & the Cro-Magnons - Sounds like a punk band to me

And one I just thought of last night:

The Dangling Participles - A group of out of work English Teachers who sing grammatically correct songs or sing new arrangements of grammatically incorrect songs with the grammar corrected... Man I just love their cover of BTO's You Haven't Seen Anything Yet.

The Muffin Tops- I'm thinking a tween version of the Spice Girls

Keggers- fat bar flies from the north midwest, singing some bastardization of barbershop and country western

The Line Jumpers- salsa

Dire Straights- homophobics singing a type Christian rock songs about everyone going to Hell

Spewing Race Baiters- one hateful mouth piece from every race/creed/sexual orientation, each with a microphone and reciting their rhetoric simotaneously to accordian music

Fu Manchu & the Jolly Green String Beans

Velvet Lizard (influenced by Led Zeppelin & Iron Butterfly)

These were names my friend and I gave to our imaginary rock band we organized when we were in elementary school.  (Perhaps I shouldn't admit that)

I actually wanted to form a band and name them Severe Bowel Movement.  My brother's in-laws were laughing so hard they were crying when I told them.  I offered his mother-in-law a tissue and her response was priceless, "with a name like that, I think you need the tissue more than I do."

Actually, I probably still have tapes somewhere we made on my portable cassette recorder under the name of Velvet Lizard.  We were a garage band in the truest sense because that is where we made the tapes and we actually used the garage as a musical instrument.  We used sticks to hit the springs of the garage door opener for percussion.  Forty-five years later we're still unsigned.  I wonder why!

...Velvet Lizard.  LOL!! 

"Hey, Sallyanne, Wanna pet my Velvet Lizard?  It's reeeallly preeeetty." ;D  I'm sorry...that's great!  I can see the shirts...!! 

Well,  the one I was in was called "Art Of Fact"...not my idea.  I liked it.   
The two that I thought up would be marginal to good--just cause there's some bands I just think--WHERE THE HELL DID THEY COME UP WITH THAT? (like the Orange Roughies/Strawberry Zots/Exploding White Mice/Pajama Slave Dancers...(NO...they're all real.  I didn't say they were good or not...heh.) Were:

---CYPTIC SLAUGHTER  (Headbanger City...)
---BEDSIDE MANOR (TOTAL HAIR BAND NAME...and think of THOSE shirts!  heh.) And yes, the spelling is INTENTIONAL.

PEACE--Kath

 

I once had a band on myspace approach me about something.  I forget what.  I think they were just randomly putting notes out to other myspace users to try to generate interest... this was back around 2005 or 2006 before Facebook really took off and left myspace in the dust as far as social networking sites go...  Anyway I emailed them back complimenting them on the cleverness of their band name which is full of not only double but arguably also TRIPLE entendres:

Liquor Bachs

EXCELLENT!  LOL!!

Let me see, I'm gonna suck at this but I'll try to make up a couple...Hoping one might be good....

I Run Butter Fly (Classic Rock Style band)

Pessimistic Optimists (name a few of us friends used in High School that I came up with)  (Grunge band?)

Drug Ad Dicks (Punk band)

The Future Retro's (Pop band)

Disc Lexia (Dance music band)

X Marks the Pot (Rock/Rap band)

Shizz Gnat (rap artist)

Slammed Ants (punk/metal band) play on Moshing or Slam Dance

sanMYity  (Techno band)

LOL Katz (Jazz band)


OK already EnuffZ'nuff...lol

I thought of one earlier this week:

The AustrAliens (an "undocumented" rock band from Down Under playing on the sly in the US)

That's good...

Hey, has anyone seen the freecreditreport.com bands on their commercials?  There's 4...and one of the 4 is from Detroit...their name...

VICTORIOUS SECRETS.  ;D 

you can vote online for the best...it's between THEM and the band from Chicago, oddly enough...well, that's me.  Go check 'em out...

Jah's Addiction - A musician friend used to constantly talk about putting together a band to do reggae covers of Jane's Addiction songs.

I think the name may have also come from these lyrics form the Beatles song "Happiness is a Warm Gun:"  "She's well acquainted with the touch of the velvet hand
Like a lizard on a window pane."

I had a friend in college who was talking about forming a ska band... they were going to call themselves "Erect at Eleven."  This was the same friend that was brave enough to drink a Guinness Beer Float with me and introduced me to the Chicago area ska band, Deals Gone Bad.  I believe he still lives in the Chicago area and at one point I think he even lived in my general neighbourhood but we haven't crossed paths in over 10 years.

Inspired by a Steve Martin "tweet" from this morning, "Fornicating Monkeys".

Maybe I'll paste the tweet in later...

"@SteveMartinToGo In effort to bolster Tweeting commitments, I enjoin a hundred monkeys to compose Tweets for me in garage."

"@SteveMartinToGo Monkey Tweets become uncontrollable irritation. Also have to divert wife from garage where hidden monkeys are fornicating and spamming."

Folk/Punk band (does such a hybrid sub-genre even exist?): Cottage Industrialists
Soft Rock band: Daily Laundry (their debut album could be titled "Changing the sheets.... Again.")

And here's one inspired by the quote that inspired the name of this message board:  Art Deco Tango

This is the best fake rock band name of all time!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is more an album marketing/packaging thing than a band name idea:

I still think Chicago XXX should have been packaged in a plain brown envelope with their logo in the "Return Address" area a small window for the "Recipient" address that would have had "XXX" on it and right above that window in small print: "Adult material enclosed, not intended for children under 17" 

That would have been so much more fun than the three Xs etched out with the jackhammer (a la Mayor Daley's shennanigans on the former Meigs Field Airstrip).

Dude, That's NOT a fake rock band...the ORIGINAL "band" on those commercials was fake...the ones with the Pirate Restaurant/in the basement/at the Renaissance Festival, etc.  WAS FAKE...Howevah--when THEIR contract(s) ran out, there was a contest to pick A REAL BAND TO DO THE ADS.  But yeah, it's an AWESOME name for a band!   

Here's a fun band name I thought of...

Your Mom's Favorite Band

Now when guys tease each other as such:

"You listen to Starland Vocal Band?!?  Isn't that your mom's favorite band?"

The answer will be no... because Your Mom's Favorite Band will be a band in and of itself.