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Poem58
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To address you both I must say yeah, actually Saxman, I did end up playing my senior year at Fulgelhorn although I had to sit out the first half of marching band. the only problem was I owned a trumpet and only "borrowed" the flugelhorn form the school. So after my senior year, I had no need to pay hundreds of dollars for one and had a trumpet I basically could not play. Also, even though the Flugelhorn helped it was only enough to get me through my senior year. The damage was to both my upper and lower lips so for whatever reason the pain was too much and the ability was just flat out gone. I had made great strides from my freshman year when I was told at practice before the year started by a senior "No freshman plays first trumpet" and I had to prove I was worthy, and I eventually hit that high G which made my senior section leader quit in the middle of the song to high five me as no one had ever done that. After that accident, even Flugel was a bit too much. To this day I cannot whistle more than a minute or two without cramps, I kid you not, the damage was that severe.
Kath, while I don't blame the band director (as I said it was amazing to see on video we looked like the rest of our city, teeny tiny band then we expanded out to be HUGE in comparison) But the senior in front of me could have ignored the bee and let it go by, or realized my trumpet bell was only inches behind his head, but being top dog trumpet as he was the senior, he was in front and did not see just how close our horns were from the next persons head. So it probably never occurred to him he would slam into me like that, and with his ego, I doubt he cared. I don't recall him being so concerned as to what he did. But at that moment, I doubt I could remember anything but the blood and pain. So, he may have been the most sorrowful person on earth and I won't remember. He's coincidentally the same one who high fived me for the highest known note ever played at my high school to that point. How ironic, no?
yeah it always left me with a what if feeling. My head band director wanted me in his concert and but I elected to join the flag girls and other band rejects for the embarrassing assistant band directors concert band as I didn't want people to know I couldn't play anymore. The sad thing is that the secondary band director canceled a concert as in his opinion I was the ONLY one capable of playing the material and went so far as to make the band play without me playing. they were so bad he basically singled me out and told them if I wasn't playing they sounded like crap. So how bad was that band if the guy who lost his chops WAS the one guy who played it right!!??!?
which of course had the WHOLE band staring at me like I did something wrong. Sometimes I wonder how I got out of High School alive!
So yeah it was bittersweet, I had done so much to establish myself as the best player I could be, to have it ripped away and have to hide the fact that any playing was painful and far less technically proficient. But I made it. And always wonder just what I could have done if not for having that stupid bee fly by at that moment. I always had dreams of being Lee's fill in....
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